munching a plum on
the street a paper bag
of them in her hand
They taste good to her
They taste good
to her. They taste
good to her
You can see it by
the way she gives herself
to the one half
sucked out in her hand
Comforted
a solace of ripe plums
seeming to fill the air
(last night sitting on the steps of my home eating a fresh orange moon shining high i remembered reading this poem a long time back but could not remember neither the poet's name nor the title of the poem but i knew there was this poem which said the thing about eating a plum the way i was eating the orange. i then went in and switched on the machine and by the time i logged in to my blog i forgot what it was i wanted to write!...it all comes back 20 hours later...)
******
10 comments:
Why such shoddy presentation and poor usage of punctuation? It takes away from the beauty of the poem, to say nothing of changing the meaning of your thoughts!
"....eating a fresh orange moon shining high."
...you have a point there...but i was giving myself entirely to the orange as well as the moon shining high in the sky and a comma separating the two would have divided the two.
i guess the poor usage of punctuation is casually deliberate...and the shoddy presentation too...the plum, the orange, the moon--simple post-retirement joys, after everyone had gone to sleep...not even recording the experience in memory properly...it is not to be taken as a poem, what i have given in brackets.
i give below the link to an article on the net about the poem 'to an old woman'. read beyond the academic analysis in the article. then only we can get to the soul of the poem. i feel william carlos williams is deliberately breaking the structure of the language so that words do not distract the poetry he sees in the relishing of the taste of the plum...
this is the link:
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/guide/236558
There seems to be a failing in communication here!
By shoddy presentation,I meant the white patch at the back of the text, which shouts out, "cut! paste!"
I understood your words in brackets to be a narrative and not a poem.
While poetic and in this case even philosophical expression allows one to play with words and grammatical rules, I have to confess your justification of, " giving myself entirely to the orange as well as the moon shining high in the sky and a comma separating the two would have divided the two.", holds no water here! It infact, the lack of punctuation takes away from the poetic imagery a comma would have augmented!
As for the poem, it flows seamlessly, each line evoking a rich imagery of what the poet seeks to convey. I do get the soul or essence of the poem!
Cheers!
how does one hide these cut and paste patch?..am still a beginner with the computer and all, but am beginning to progress... oh let us not argue over the grammatical thing because i am done with it after decades fussing over it in profession...am letting myself free.
cheers!
i tinkered with the design options this morning and the blog has now taken this look...learning...i mean to design it right.
Design.....nice.
"Grammatical thing".....just good practice, regardless of occupational demands or current lack, thereof!
Using retirement as an excuse to justify the absence of attention to detail, goes against the very essence of the zen like state, that you wax so eloquently about! Engage in a task while giving yourself completely to the moment. You attend to details because that is what the task entails! It isn't an additional, tiresome step but is the very nature of the task!!!
I'm sorry. I don't mean to lecture but I just feel that if you decide to do something, do it right, else don't do it at all!!!
thanks for suggestions to improve this blog...design etc. see, i earnestly tried to improve its look when you said it looks bad.
but grammar--plenty mistakes all through in this blog to irritate grammarians...you do enjoy reading it once in a while, in spite of the sloppy language, don't you? and zen is not a joke...all i know about it is i don't know it.
Aiyayaya!
You misunderstand my intention!
Peace out!
P.S: Zen is definitely NOT a joke.
the orange, its sweet, fleshy, carpels:
they tasted good to me
they tasted good
to me. they tasted
good to me
you could have seen it by
the way i gave myself
to the one half
sucked out in my hand
(this is what i meant by this piece
this is what i meant
by this piece. this is
what i meant by this piece
you missed my intention...perhaps because of the sloppy language.)
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